So, it had been my initial intention to practice voice after my Directing class ended at 3:50.  However, that did not happen, because I went non-verbal around 1:45.  Going nonverbal is what autistics call a phenomenon wherein you find yourself unable to speak.  You can try, but it either will not going to happen, or could happen, but you’ll be using up so much of your energy forcing yourself to speak, that the ultimate fall out will be worse.

Some autistics are nonverbal all the time.  Others are nonverbal some of the time, as in, they talk, but being nonverbal is a pretty regular occurrence.  And then there’s me, who has only gone completely nonverbal one other time (as far as I can remember).  I am familiar with the experience of finding talking really uncomfortable, and wishing I could sign instead, because that would feel so much better, but normally can push through the albeit intense discomfort.  To actually be unable to voice words or make more than a few whispered sounds at a time, is still new to me.

My voice didn’t come back until almost midnight.  That’s 10 hours (if I’m doing my math right), the longest ever.

When it did come back (and I knew it would, it always does).  I sang some simple songs to test myself out.  I was sitting at the piano bench in Earlham Hall.  My technique wasn’t great, my posture was atrocious, but I really liked the rounded sound that I achieved, which doesn’t seem attainable except after long periods of silence.

My question from a voice perspective is; is this normal?