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How do I confront lapses in integrity in myself and others?
Integrity requires an inner sense of not only wholeness but consistency as well. Integrity can be seen in individuals through their actions, words, decisions, and situations that they engage in. Integrity also includes being the true YOU. There are various parts of each person, and some things are easy to be proud of while other components may be insecurities. I think it is extremely difficult to be honest or practice integrity 100% of the time. I try to be of integrity with what I believe, but sometimes I mess up. There are times that my emotions get the best of me and I lose consciousness of the impact of my behavior and actions. Other times, I don’t permit myself to be my authentic self out of concern for different opinions. So, I think it is entirely normal to confront lapses in integrity… everyone experiences it and we must sympathize with each other. With saying that, being imperfect does not mean it is permissible. We must work towards making conscious choices to lead lives of integrity.
Lapses in Myself
When I mess up, I try to talk to the people around me to get a handle on my integrity, becoming aware of what I am doing wrong. I try to find ways to get honest feedback from others. I will usually talk to my mom or close friends, knowing they won’t feel the need to sugar coat things. I also try to see if people find me trustworthy because integrity usually stands as a driver of trust. This also helps we gage the impact of my slip-ups. Next, I try to surround myself with people who feel comfortable enough to call me out, letting me know when my integrity seems invalid. I appreciate the feedback, and at times, various perspectives show better ways of handling situations. This helps me grow and improve in the future, hopefully avoiding similar mistakes in the future.
Lapses in Others
When someone lapses in integrity, I try to understand the impact it has on me. By considering the impact, I can see how much damage is done. This way, things are placed in perspective and acting impulsively is expelled from the picture. Next, when it is necessary, I try to confront the behavior. I try not to pinpoint it on the person but the situation instead. I let them know how it made me feel and why, asking them to change their actions in future. Confronting individuals isn’t always easy, but it’s crucial to maintaining sanity. Next, remaining angry over a situation never solves anything. The last step is trying to move forward. It is so easy to hold grudges when we feel wronged and become emotionally attached to the problem. But I try to look ahead and realize that I tried to handle the situation appropriately and let it go. Although someone’s behavior may have negatively impacted me, I must understand that none of us are innocent.